Private Emotions
by Mrs Mustang
Summary: [Larten x Darren] Darren has trouble sleeping, will Mr. Crepsley help him out or only make things worse? Yaoi. Rated M for sexual situation. Please R&R.
1. One Love

**TItle:** Private Emotions  
**Author:** Mrs Mustang  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own The Saga of Darren Shan. The almighy Master Shan does. But if I did, Larten, Kurda, Darren and Mika would be so gay it hurt. I am also not making any money out of this so please don't sue me thank you.  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Pairing:** Larten/Darren  
**Rated:** M, for sexual situations.  
**Warnings:** Yaoi, don't like, don't read.  
**Spoilers:** Not really.  
**Author's Note:** Plot bunnies are evil.

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**Chapter One: One Love**

Mr. Crepsley looked thoughtfully at me. I turned myself around, I wouldn't let him get the opportunity to see me cry. Wouldn't let him get the chance to see the salty water which would soon leave a trail on my cheeks because of _him_.

I could feel his steady and soft breath caress my skin when he leaned over me, and whispered poison into my ears. "Darren, are you alright?" I felt dizzy when I heard his voice. So deep, so seductive and so_ him_. My mind went black when I felt his hand on my shoulder, rubbing me softly. I couldn't breath. It was too much.

"Darren?" he tried again, but I gave no response, because the man was actually _touching me _and I was in my own la-la-land. Though he stayed as calm as ever, I could tell he was worried. He shook me softly, trying to get me to respond.

I turned around again, and looked deeply into his green eyes. "I'm fine."

"You do not look fine," he said, eyes narrowing at me. I snorted and got up on my feet. I didn't need any sleep. At least not beside him. It would do me no good. He'd only give me a painful erection _(not on purpose)_, which I had to explain in the morning if he woke up before me, as he usually did.

"I'm totally fine and I think I'm going for a walk," I said.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Shouldn't you sleep? It's night for creatures like you."

"_Us,_" he corrected. "And, if you have not noticed, this forest is pitch black and I believe that it is safe for me to walk around for a while."

I shrugged. It couldn't be that bad having him along. Although I had in mind to walk by myself. I tried to avoid_ him _after all. As long as he didn't touch me or anything, it'd be okay.

He patted my shoulder and pushed me gently forward. I almost fell.

_You've no idea what you're doing to me, do you, Bastard?_

"You are supposed to move your feet, Darren," he joked, a smile lurking in the corner of his stern lips. I scowled at him and he chuckled. "Well?" he cocked an eyebrow at me.

I stumped forward, and the hand was still there. I cursed myself silently for wanting it to be elsewhere.

I had hoped I would get some time alone to think. But I could never resist him when he asked me so damn nicely. I did it all the time as a _kid_, but I weren't a kid anymore. I had reached my teens thanks to the purge. My looks had changed drastically, I had _hair _on my head again. Lots of brown spiky bangs lied ever so nicely on my forehead. I had grown several inches too, and I was finally a bit higher.

We kept walking and because of the silence I couldn't stop the train of thoughts that came rushing through my head. Of course, it was all about him. I idly wondered if he knew. If he had noticed. If he had noticed the painful bulge in my pants when I had snuck out from our camp to get rid of it. I wondered if he felt the same way about me.

I almost laughed at myself. I was so silly. Of course he did not such thing! He was a responsible adult, and he would never have a crush on a restless _teenager_. And, the added bonus of us both being guys. Mr. Crepsley was definitely _not _into guys.

I wondered what gay sex was like. Did them just… put it up there? Didn't that hurt? I wondered if it did. I _wanted _to know if it hurt - by personal experience. I slapped myself for thinking of it. That would do no good. I prayed to the Gods of the Vampires that they didn't offer me an erection now.

They didn't listen, and above it all, I fell.

_FUCK! _

I tripped over a root, and fell forward into the dirt. Because I was so lucky and captured myself with my hands first, my hard dick didn't break into several pieces. I sighed heavily and turned myself around.

Mr. Crepsley stared dumbly at me. "Darren, you should keep your eyes open while you walk." Then the old vampire turned his gaze further down and I was doomed.

I had expected him to laugh, but he looked seriously at me and shook his head. "I am sorry, Darren. I should have told you about stuff like that earlier."

"You really should be sorry because you caused it," I growled. Then my cheeks turned crimson when I realized what I had just said. The old vampire looked at me in amusement. I wanted to slap him, but then again I wouldn't because I would never ever try to ruin his perfect face.

I got back up on my feet and brushed dirt off my pants. "I'm going back," I announced and started to walk. It didn't take long before a large hand was placed on my shoulder and I was swiftly turned around.

I felt hot lips on mine.

They were warm, wet and more than welcome. His hands were around my back, pressing my body tightly against his. My groin poked him on his thigh, but I couldn't find any evidence from him. Maybe later. I didn't care about his dick now, I though about his lips which was placed on mine.

The lips I had longed for. The taste I wanted to taste. It was all him. If I died now I would die with a smile on my face. One of his hands travelled down my back and when it reached my butt, it went in a totally different direction.

I felt my belt being unfastened, and when his free hand was seized around my arousal I didn't complain. He began to tug and I started to rock my hips into his touch.

"Buh-but… But you're going to teach me… right?" I moaned.

"I am your mentor, am I not?" he whispered into my ear.

And because of the inexperienced teenager I was, I didn't last long.

I moaned loudly into his mouth when sticky semen spluttered onto his hand and my boxers. He pulled his mouth and hand away, and I watched as he sensually licked my come off his fingers. Never had I pictured Mr. Crepsley like this. He was so goddamned sexy with his index finger inside of his mouth, letting his tongue roll around it. Tasting my semen.

"Is it my turn now?" I asked when he was done tasting me.

"No," Larten said, "you got a long way to go, it is not something you are going to pick up overnight."

"You're just saying that to keep me coming back," I said, then yawned.

"Is that a bad thing?" he smirked and led me back to the camp.

* * *

**To be continued.**


	2. Never Easy

**Author's Note: **So, your wish is granted. I'm turning this into a chaptered story. Hope you like the it! Sorry for the long wait, by the way. Hopefully it was worth it.

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**Chapter Two: Never Easy**

Three days. Three days had past since my first sexual encounter with Mr. Crepsley, and nothing had happened. He acted like nothing had happened at all. It wasn't like he didn't talk to me, because he did. It's just, I was sure to get those looks, and _stuff_. Maybe he had been sleepwalking when it happened? I sure did not know, and I sure as hell didn't dare to ask him either.

Vancha and Harkat was hunting. And I were alone with Mr. Crepsley, he was half asleep, lying in the grass, eyes closed. I was making a fire, ready to cook when the others arrived with the food.

I had been thinking about Mr. Crepsley a lot lately. No, not a lot. I hadn't been thinking about anything else. We were trying to track down the Vampaneze Lord, and all I could think about was my feelings for my mentor. At first I was sure I was in love with him. Then when he jerked me off, I thought it was only a sexual attraction to the man. But when he started to act like nothing happened, I got the feeling that I was in love with him again.

Love is a complicated thing.

"Darren," Mr. Crepsley said, interrupting my thoughts. I turned around to see the man, still lying in the grass with his eyes closed. I swallowed hard. Why was it so hard to talk to him? I hadn't had any trouble with that before. It was only _Mr. Crepsley_.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Why do you think I have forgotten about it?" He opened his eyes now, which was fixed on me. I didn't know what to say so I did what seemed best at the moment; I shrugged. "It is not something I would easily forget."

"Yeah…"

"Well, I did not forget it - I remember it quite well, actually. I just did not want to do anything in front of Vancha and Harkat," he smirked now. "First of all, we are both men. Second, you are still a minor, while I am at least 150 years older than you." I had to laugh at that, because it was true.

"I guess I thought you had forgotten it because you didn't say anything. You just acted like nothing had happened at all," I smiled. "But now I know why, and I understand." He mentioned for me to come sit beside him, and so I did. I wouldn't let any opportunity to sit beside him slip.

It was weird. I had always thought of Mr. Crepsley as butt-ugly - but he wasn't that bad, really. If you overlooked his scars, he was, well, handsome.

It was hard to sit beside him like that, because all I wanted to do was _touch _him, _feel _him and _kiss _him. I didn't dare though, I was afraid he would push me away. But I didn't have to think about that anymore, as he started feeling up my back, tracing it with his long fingers.

I stiffened at his touch, not sure what to do. I didn't want to get hard either. In case Harkat and Vancha got back early. But Mr. Crepsley sure had other things in mind as his hand cupped my face, bringing it to level with his.

He started kissing me then. Slow and passionately, and for a brief moment I wondered if he might have feelings for me too. But my thoughts were pushed away as his tongue slipped into my awaiting mouth, rough and soft against my wet cavern.

I couldn't help my wandering hands. They started wandering on their own accord; they started unbuttoning Mr. Crepsley's shirt. Our kiss ended, and he looked at me, panting, his eyes filled with lust.

He pushed me down on the ground, and topped me. His mouth was once again on mine, and I continued to unbutton his annoying shirt, which was only in the way.

His shirt was off, so was mine. He was exploring my body with his hands, feeling up every inch with skin. My hands went to his belt, and everything stopped.

"Darren, what are you doing?"

"I … Uh," I mumbled. "I wanted to try the … mouth thing," and before he could say anything I continued. "Because you're going to teach me, right? And if you're going to do everything, then I won't get much better. So would you let me do it? Please, I _want _to."

"Are you sure?" he said, eyeing me carefully. "You have not done it before, and neither have I done it on you."

"I've heard about it," I shrugged. "Besides, I'm a guy, and I know you're supposed to stick _it _in your mouth and then suck it," Mr. Crepsley laughed. "And you could always let me know if I did something wrong."

"Look, Darren, you do not have to-"

"Mr. Cre - Larten, I _want _to do it," I said, and claimed a kiss from him as I started to unfasten his belt. Now it was my turn to push him down, and I did.

"You're a fast learner, Darren, and I have not even started the lessons yet," he said, and I could tell he was having a hard time down there because he was starting to run his words together, which he usually _never _did. I guess when it came to sex it was an exception.

"All I can say, Steve and I didn't _only _watch cartoons when we were young." Mr. Crepsley narrowed his eyes at the mention of Steve's name, but I left it unnoticed. "Well," I said and broke the silence. "Let's do lesson one - how to give a proper blow job - before Harkat and Vancha catches us with our pants around our ankles."

Mr. Crepsley could hardly argue with that.

I went between his legs, unzipping the zipper. I could see the outline of his groin through his boxers. I looked up at Mr. Crepsley, who had closed his eyes. I took a hold of the elastic waistband of his boxers then, slowly yanking it further down.

Once his erection came to sight, I was unsure of what to do. Should I hold it? Taste it? I did both.

I took a hold of it with my right hand, while I used the other one to steady myself on. My tongue darted out, licking the slit which was wet from some pre-cum. I took it in my mouth then, sucking slightly at the head.

I pushed it further in, sucking harder and harder.

"Ngh… Darren… do not, do not use your teeth," Mr. Crepsley panted and looked down on me. "Use your tongue … more."

I did as he said, and a few moments later he came in my mouth.

While he tried to recover from his bliss, I wiped my mouth with my hand and then looked over at Mr. Crepsley who was panting frantically. Just like I did when he jerked me off.

"I am sorry I came in your mouth," he excused himself and sat back up.

"Don't worry, it wasn't that bad," I smiled. "Was I good?"

"You did well as a beginner," he answered truthfully. "But it would not hurt with improvements; you could stop using your teeth, for example." Mr. Crepsley had never been the lying kind of person, and for that I was glad. It's much easier to deal with people when you know they're telling you the truth.

"So," he smirked. "Will you let me return the favor?"

All I could to was nod.

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**To be continued.**


	3. Picturing The Past

**Author's Note: **First off, I wanna thank Shadowfox9845 for being my first beta reader. Then, I wanna thank you all for your patience. I'm sorry it took so long. Had a writer's block and had to force myself to write. That's why I think this chapter seems a bit rushed. Sorry about that. But I just ... well. It didn't turn out the way I wanted. But because I don't like it, doesn't mean you won't! So I really hope you like this one.

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**Chapter Three: Picturing The Past**

It was finally starting to happen. Mr. Crepsley was beginning to give me light hints every now and then. His hand, for example, could suddenly drop from my shoulder to my butt _(unless someone were behind us)_, and he would caress it teasingly _(sometimes so damn good I got hard and had to excuse myself from whatever we were doing) _or he would send me looks and lick his lips suggestively.

Besides from that, it hadn't happened anything noteworthy between me and Mr. Crepsley the past weeks. Though, sometimes when both Vancha and Harkat were sleeping _(which really wasn't often, seeing that Harkat didn't like sleeping, due to his nightmares)_, he would kiss me and tell me that he was sorry we didn't have more privacy on our backs.

But my hopes of maybe getting _something_ rose when we finally arrived at our first destination. Though, they died away very soon because of two reasons.

One, Lady Evanna, the woman _(witch) _who owned the place we were going to stay at, had lots of frogs, which formed a picture of Arra Sails, Mr. Crepsley's old flame, who died away six years ago. It made Mr. Crepsley very emotional, and even though he may have wanted to do that _something_, we couldn't have because of reason number two.

Which was the lack of privacy. We didn't have any of it at all.

After staying at Lady Evanna's house for a few days, we decided to move on, this time _(much to my relief) _to the Cirque.

It wasn't until we arrived that I really realized how much I'd actually missed the place and the people - especially Evra, who had gotten married with a beautiful woman named Merla. He had kids too; two boys and a girl. The oldest one had been named after me, even. His name was Shancus.

But although how much I enjoyed seeing my old friends again, all I _really _wanted was to get Mr. Crepsley to myself. Which I hopefully would.

---

I was wandering around the Cirque all by myself, thinking about the life I once had there. Thinking about R.V., the Wolfman, the death of my old friend Sam Grest, and how much that incident had actually influenced my life.

When I first started to think about him, my mind started wandering. Back to the memories of my family and friends. But before I managed to get teary eyed, a hand was on my shoulder. "You have missed it here, have you not?" It wasn't hard to tell who it was.

"Yeah," I sighed as I stirred out to nowhere. "It reminds me of the really _good _times as your assistant. The times before everything started to get so … fatal." I turned around to face my mentor, who wore an unreadable expression. "This is the closest place I get to home."

"I know," Mr. Crepsley smiled warmly at me, then yawned.

"Tired already?" I smirked. "You're getting old."

"Watch it, Master Shan," he warned in a playful tone.

"Oh, what are you going to do, old man?" I said as I started to walk slowly away. "Catch me, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," he replied, and I could see the glint in his eyes as I started to run, although I knew he would catch me if he really started running, but he ran slowly toward me, and even then he almost got the best of me.

I turned a couple of caravans, Mr. Crepsley at my heels, when I suddenly stood face to face with a van I knew that I knew very well, though I couldn't place it. But before I got to remember it, I was turned around, then pushed against the van.

Mr. Crepsley kissed me passionately, and all I could do was moan into it and kiss back. I arched gently against his clothed body, my hands wandering on their own accord. And as our kiss ended, I took a brief look around myself, just to be sure that no one else was around.

He squeezed my buttocks teasingly, his tongue once again finding its way through my parted lips.

His talented tongue flickered from my mouth to my ear, sucking slightly at the lobe. Fast, my pants grew almost unbearably tight. I think Mr. Crepsley's pants did too, because the few minutes we stood kissing there, leaning against the dark van, he shifted a lot.

Even though vampires has ears more sensitive to sounds than any other being, none of us had noticed the person that had approached us. Mr. Crepsley's hands were working on my belt buckle when the person spoke.

"Darren and Larten is that you?" I could hear the uncertainness in the voice that belonged to Evra Von, my former best friend. Mr. Crepsley turned swiftly around and knocked Evra out with his breath.

"When he wakes up he will believe it was just a dream," Mr. Crepsley shrugged and started to carry Evra away.

"Where are you taking him?" I asked.

"To his tent," he answered. "I will tell his wife I found him lying in the grass. Asleep." Mr. Crepsley started to walk away, and in two seconds he were out of my sight. I sighed and looked down at the almost pulsing bulge in my too tight pants. "You shut the fuck up!" I yelled at it.

Of course, when I finally got Mr. Crepsley to myself, something _had _to happen. I was positive he wouldn't return. That something got in his way. That I wouldn't get _something _that day either. But half an hour later he returned, an almost sweet smile on his lips.

I was lying in the grass, almost asleep, looking at the stars when he came back. He took me in his arms, carrying me into the van that I had been wondering about earlier. When we came inside I realized which van it was. It was the one Mr. Crepsley used to sleep in. His coffin was still there and he laid me down it. He removed my shirt and my pants, but hesitated a bit when he came to my boxers. I nodded a silent yes, and his thin fingers went under the elastic waistband on my boxers, yanking it down my legs, revealing my soft cock.

As soon as he was done undressing me, he started working on his own clothes and made a quick job of it. And it wasn't until then, when he had climbed into the coffin, that he finally spoke to me. "Is it okay for you to sleep in here with me, or do you want me to go and get you a hammock?"

I remembered the day that I had been buried alive. The day I promised and swore to myself I would never lay myself down in a coffin alive again. But I broke my own promise. "I want to lay here, with you," I said, snuggling against his chest as he covered us up with blankets. "As long as you don't close it," I added.

"I will not," he said and kissed my forehead. Even though the sun was rising outside, it was pitch black inside the van. I could barely see Mr. Crepsley's pale, delicate skin. "Darren, are you asleep?"

"No," I replied.

"Good." He sat up and grabbed a bottle of something before he laid himself back down, and I realized that the bottle was filled with some sort of lube as he slicked his fingers up.

It took a moment before we managed to figure out the best tangle of limbs because he obviously hadn't tried this with anyone else before. Mr. Crepsley's big, oiled hand went down around both our soft cocks, rubbing them together as he brought them to life. I moaned at the unique sensation, thrusting into his hand.

"Good?" he asked me.

My answer was one of wordless delight. Mr. Crepsley's strong and steadily increasing pace quickly took me to that wonderful spot of ecstasy where the world filtered away and all there was left was pure bliss. I felt my hot cum trickling down my own belly then heard Mr. Crepsley's groans as he too, spilled.

We lay limp in each other's arms until some strength came back into our bodies, and we exchanged some sloppy kisses.

"Finally," I sighed against his sweaty chest.

"You have been wanting this for a long time, have you not?" Mr. Crepsley said and I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I have seen those looks of longing you have given me when you believe I am not watching."

"Alright, I'm busted," I sighed again.

"I have been longing too, you know," he whispered into my ear. The hot breath that caressed my ear sent a chill all the way down my spine. I shivered and he laid his arms around me, dragging me closer to his body, if it was possible.

I couldn't help but smile. Never had I imagined Mr. Crepsley like this. He was always so uptight, stern and grumpy. But when we were alone, like this, he showed me a side of himself that I never knew existed. When we were alone he was caring, and even _romantic_. He had never said those three words to me, but he didn't have to, if he did. Because I noticed in his actions that he at least cared for me; the way he kissed me. The way he looked at me. The way he talked to me. And the way he had recently carried me inside, laid me down in his coffin and undressed me.

Everything changed between us when we were alone. And even sometimes when we weren't - but of course, then we were careful not to give people any hints of our secret relationship.

All those thoughts made me wonder if Mr. Crepsley was in love with me too. I sure was in love with him, but that didn't help me much if he didn't have the same feelings for me. I wondered what it would be like if we got together. Would he hold my hand? Would he buy me gifts on Valentine's Day? Probably not, but I still held on to the thought of walking hand in hand with him, looking for the perfect Valentine's gift.

Mr. Crepsley kissed my cheek, and interrupted my thoughts. "Goodnight, Darren," he whispered and pulled the blankets closer around our bodies.

"Goodnight, Mr. Crepsley," I replied.

"You can call me Larten. At least do so when we are alone, like this," he smiled and buried his fingers in my dark hair. I smiled.

"Goodnight then, Larten," I said, tasting his name on my tongue. It was weird, because I was so used to call him Mr. Crepsley. But I could get used to it. Just like I had get used to think of Mr. Crepsley - Larten - as more than a mentor.

**To be contiuned.**


	4. Lose It All

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry, I shouldn't have posted that other chapter at all. At first I thought it was a good way to 'end' their relationship, then get them together again. But I like to keep the characters in-character as much as possible, and Larten practically raping Darren, is as OOC as it can be when it comes to Crepsley. No matter what the circumstanses, he would _never_ have done such a thing to Darren. So I re-wrote the last part. This time there will be no raping or hints of it at all. Again, I am sorry for posting that other crappy end on the chapter. Hopefully this will be better. Enjoy!

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**Chapter Four: Lose It All**

Deep down I'd known that this day would come. The day when Mr. Crepsley told me it was over. The worst thing was that I couldn't blame him either. It was my own fault anyways.

After the encounter with the Vampaneze Lord at the Cirque, we decided it was time to move on. Vancha chose to leave for the Vampire Mountain, for an update on the War of Scars, while Mr. Crepsley, Harkat and I didn't really know where to go. We ended up in Mr. Crepsley's hometown a few days later.

We slept at the same hotel we had done so many years earlier, when Mr. Crepsley was hunting Murlough. It was weird to be back. But it was nice too. Despite the fatal encounter we'd had with the insane vampaneze in my early days as a vampire assistant, I had liked it here. And I still did. It was something special about the place. The fact that Mr. Crepsley was born and raised here, didn't make it any less special, rather the opposite.

We had only slacked the first days we'd been here. Me and Mr. Crepsley just leaving for the streets one night to drink. Well, not only drink. We found a deserted back ally, and gave each other a literally head blowing blow job. He also told me that my skills had improved. Needless to say, I slept good that day.

A few nights later we started to look out for any vampaneze, or more in particular the Vampaneze Lord. We didn't find neither, but things only got _worse_ when we Mr. Blaws showed up at my hotel room door, a _school inspector_, who obviously wanted to know why I weren't attending any school. At first I couldn't understand why the hell a school inspector would show up here, or how the fuck he knew who I was and how he knew I wasn't attending any school. But after hearing that _my papers _had been sent in to the school, I was left alone with one question:

_Who the hell would do that?_

I wasn't given much time to think of it as I had to start at school the upcoming Monday, where my biggest problem so far were waiting.

_Debbie._

_Debbie Hemlock._

My old _girlfriend _was my new _English teacher_. Which of course ruined everything for me. I didn't manage to control my feelings the first time we met again. I was so happy to see her again. She had been my first and only girlfriend, after all. So, I had kissed her, quick, but our lips met so it's still considered as a kiss. I was so happy I forgot all about Mr. Crepsley.

Of course she had lots of questions, but I came up with a story and said that I had a rare aging disease that made me look a lot younger than I actually was, which was partly true.

---

I walked alone, knowing that I was being followed. Mr. Crepsley and Harkat was watching me, making sure none of our enemies would strike while one of us was alone.

Debbie had invited me to her apartment, so that we could catch up. I wanted to tell her how much I _had_ loved her, and how much she still meant to me. I didn't love her the way I did when I was younger anymore. Mr. Crepsley had reminded me that when I got home from school. I also wanted to tell her that I was sorry for not telling her about my 'disease' the first time we met, and that I wanted us to be nothing more than friends.

I was greeted by a delicious smell of scones. Which tasted as good as it smelled. After eating Debbie's almost too good cooking, which she'd more than obvious had learned from her mother, I thought that it was time to talk.

I licked my lips nervously, placing my plate on the table. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't utter a word. My mouth had gone dry. Debbie looked curiously at me, with those big, brown eyes. "Darren?"

I can't remember what I did next, all I remember was that in the next second my lips were placed on hers. Then I thought of Mr. Crepsley and I pulled away instantly, momentarily regretting my move. "I'm sorry!" I squeaked. "I shouldn't have."

She slapped me. "No, you shouldn't," she growled. Not sorry for the pain she had just caused my cheek. "Darren…" her voice was soft again, "I know that your feelings for me hasn't changed-"

"They-"

"Don't interrupt me while I am talking Darren," she warned. "As I said, I know that you have the same feelings for me that you had thirteen years ago. And I guess that deep down mine are also still the same - but, you're a _child_ Darren. You're my _student_. I won't and I can't date my students. First off it's gross and it's against the law."

I didn't know what to say. What was there to say? Even if I told her that my feelings wasn't the same, she wouldn't believe me. Not that I could blame her. I had kissed her twice already. I sighed.

"Hm," she said. "Sorry for slapping you."

"It's okay," I shrugged. "I deserved it." She laughed, then excused herself and went to the bathroom. I wanted to leave, because as she left I was left alone thinking, and my thoughts fell automatically on Mr. Crepsley. What if he had seen what I had done? So I composed a quick note.

_I had to go, sorry. But it was wonderful to see you. Meet you tomorrow. Hope you won't mind if I don't do my homework!_

Mr. Crepsley and Harkat met me right outside the building. Mr. Crepsley wore a sad expression, and I wasn't able to look him in the eyes after what I'd done. "I have some bad news," he said, but avoided to look at me. "Our friend, your fellow Prince, Paris Skyle …" he trailed off. "I received a short telepathic message from Mika Ver Leth just half an hour ago. Paris is dead."

---

Silence. It was too much of it. Harkat had finally gone to sleep, and Mr. Crepsley and I was left alone. He hadn't said a word to me since Harkat had left, but I guessed it was just because Paris was dead, though a low voice in my head said it was because of me and what I had done.

"So…" I said, trying to start a conversation. "Did you see anything?" I continued, aiming for the vampaneze. Then my hand fell on my mouth, I had definitely picked the wrong words.

"No," he sighed. "There was no sight of the vampaneze. Although, I did caught a glimpse of something else," he said and a slow smirk formed itself on the dry lips, but then he grew serious. "Darren, I have watched you all night. You think you did something wrong; but you did not. I am teaching you, Darren. I am not your _'boyfriend'_,_ 'lover' _or whatever people call it these days. You are allowed to have a girlfriend. There is no reason to be ashamed just because you kissed that lady. It did not hurt my feelings, if that is what you are thinking." He sounded sincere and honest, but as he said the last sentence, his eyes had flickered away from mine.

"But," I began, "I thought that … The way you acted … Have you been playing with _my _feelings all along?" I mumbled, anger starting to build itself up in my mind.

"Your feelings?" he asked surprised, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Yes, my feelings! I really like you, you know!" I yelled as I stood up, fists clenching into balls. "And after we visited the Cirque again, I thought that you might have feelings for me too! The way you kissed me, touched me! The way you carried me inside! You acted differently towards me all of a sudden … and I thought that you might be in love with me too …" Tears gathered in my eyes, and I looked deep into Mr. Crepsley's eyes.

"Darren I …"

"Silly me, huh? Thinking that _you_, the ever so perfect Larten Crepsley,of all people could possibly be in love with a scumbag like _me_. Well, I'll get over it. Now, don't you have a fucking funeral to attend? I suggest you leave for it _now_, or it'll be _your _funeral next!"

For four long minutes, none of us moved. Mr. Crepsley had buried his head in his hands, and I could hear him breath heavily, while I stood my ground. But then, all of a sudden, he got up from the chair he sat on and left for the Vampire Mountain to attend Paris' funeral, just like we had agreed. Without a kiss or a simple goodbye. No _nothing_.

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**To be continued.**


	5. Not Supposed To Love You Anymore

**Author's Note: **I'm really sorry it took so damned long before I managed to pull myself together and write this last chapter (hopefully the smut will make up for that). Not only have I been amazingly lazy on my writing these past months, but I've also had a lot to think about when it comes to school. I'm really sorry it took me two goddamned months to update this story. But here it is. Although, alas, we've reached the end. This is the last chapter. Thank you all so much for bearing with me during this last half year (yes, it took me that long to write this fucking story on merely 8000 words or something). Thank you for reading, and of course for reviewing. I hope you all enjoy this last chapter. Thank you all very much. Also, I am sorry for all the grammar errors that may have occured during the story. I'm not English and I do not have a beta for my DS related writing, so that's my excuse. Lol. Again. Have a good read, and sorry about my rant.

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**Chapter Six: Not Supposed To Love You Anymore**

Almost four weeks had passed when Mr. Crepsley returned with Vancha, and it had been four weeks of _hell_. His words had hurt me so much that he could rip my heart out, step on it, stab it, rip it to pieces, and I wouldn't feel a thing. But still, when I thought of his eyes fixed at me; his swollen lips placed on mine; his hands roaming all over my body — I would smile. I _wasn't supposed to love him anymore_, but I did. I did love Mr. Crepsley, and nothing would — _could _— ever change that.

During those four weeks I had done nothing but think, do homework, think, spend time with Debbie, think, and meet Steve, my childhood friend again. And did I mention think?

Every day, every hour, every minute, every goddamned _second_, he would be lurking around in my thoughts. In one way or the other, he would be the one I was thinking of.

Sometimes I wondered if he really meant what he had said. A foul's hope some would say, but I hoped that he had lied to me. That deep down he did return my feelings.

Other times, however, I thought the opposite. I thought that he had meant what he had said, that he did it only because he looked upon it as his duty to lecture me about sex. But I didn't want to believe it, although I couldn't believe that he loved me either.

I also had a third option. The option I feared the most. The one which clearly said that Mr. Crepsley was doing it because he needed sexual release. But what scared me the most about it, was that if it was the case, then I wouldn't care as long as he would touch me, feel me. Kiss every inch of my body.

- - -

When Mr. Crepsley returned with Vancha, I didn't say a thing. I just greeted him, and kept mostly silent for the rest of the evening, until Steve and Debbie left, and Vancha and Harkat decided to go to bed.

Or, to put it more simply: I didn't say anything until I were alone with Larten.

"How was the funeral?" I asked casually, looking at his long legs.

"It was as any other funeral," Mr. Crepsley replied. "Nothing out of the ordinary — Paris would not have wanted that — but of course a lot of people wanted to bid farewell with their Prince." Mr. Crepsley coughed. "But Darren, I believe that is not what you really wanted to ask me."

My cheeks grew red and hot as I shifted uneasily in my chair, forcing myself to just look at him. "I guess…" I mumbled. Of course, he noticed my nervousness too.

"It is nothing to be nervous about, Darren," Mr. Crepsley said and smiled. "You have known that we would have to have this talk for four weeks, you have had much time to prepare yourself." But he didn't say it to mock me. He just continued to smile warmly. "Darren … to be honest with you — and do you not _dare_ to tell this to anyone else — I did not think when I blew you off. I have lived for nearly two centuries, and only once have I fallen for someone. It does not take a rocket scientist to know who that was. I loved — I _love _— Arra. She might not be alive, but she still means a lot to me. And that is the reason why I was so rash and lied to you." Mr. Crepsley stopped for a second, breathing heavily as if preparing something. "I was afraid to love you because I thought that if I started loving you the way I love Arra, you would replace her. But while I was away, I got to my senses. I learned to know how _much _I actually love you, as both a lover and assistant."

I had to catch my breath. It was too much for me. Mr. Crepsley loved me? The love of my life Larten Crepsley actually loved _me_? He looked upon me as both a lover and assistant?

I fainted.

- - -

I woke up an hour or so later. Mr. Crepsley was staring out the window, looking really thoughtful. I noticed that I was no longer sitting in the chair; Larten had probably carried me over to the couch.

I stretched my arms and legs, drawing his attention toward me as I did.

"How do you feel?"

I feel so great I feel like dancing! Larten, take my hand and—

"I'm ok," I said, a faint smile touching my lips as I sat up on the couch. "Sorry for fainting," I added shyly.

He cracked a smile at me. "Do not worry about that."

We just stared at each other for a while, eyes burning into one another. And then out of the blue, Mr. Crepsley spoke. "You know Darren, we have yet to finish your lessons," he said suggestively in a seductive tone. He arched one eyebrow at me, smirking, as he moved over to the couch were I was sitting. His hand rested on my shoulder and his eyes burned into mine. "What do you say we finish them, once and for all?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I said, my arms wrapping themselves around him as I drew his lips toward mine. I almost drowned in his kiss, his embrace. It had been too long since the last time he held me like that.

His mouth wandered to my throat, sucking lightly at the skin there. My hands roamed all over his scarred body, finally resting above the cleft of his ass. I pushed him closer. Grinding his growing arousal against mine. The moans he uttered as we meet is filled with his love for me.

In the course of mere seconds, he ridded us of our clothes. He wasted no time and dragged me up from the couch before pushing me onto the bed. His hands were gentle as they explored already explored skin. He knew where to touch if he wanted me to whimper, to moan or to groan. And when I think about it, I knew his spots too.

He spitted in his palm, and I knew what comes next.

I felt his hand wander behind my balls and toward an area that I had't even touched myself. One finger rested on the entrance, and I resisted the urge to cry as one finger painfully pushed inside. It was a weird feeling; having something inside of me, but it was welcomed nonetheless.

"I am sincerely sorry I have no other sort of preparation cream than my own salvia," Mr. Crepsley apologized. "But if you relax, it will hurt less."

I did as he said. I relaxed, and soon the feeling wasn't painful at all anymore. I started to moan loud as the finger twitched and rubbed inside of me. Suddenly he dragged it out again and I _almost _whined, but before I can, there was a second digit added. He prepared me for a while, and when he thought I was ready for the real thing, he dragged all his fingers out and replaced them with something way bigger, harder and not to mention _better_.

As it did with the finger, it hurt as a bitch at first. But once he's settled, the feeling of pain mixed with pleasure is welcomed. The pain fades away soon as he starts to move within my body, and I began to moan again.

He took me gently, thrust by thrust. It didn't take long before he wrapped his thin fingers around my throbbing member and stroked it in time with his thrust. I came first, all over our chests. But as soon as I came, my body clenched around his abdomen and I felt his white, salty sperm fill my body.

He fell on top of me, careful not to break me. We lied like that for several minutes before exchanging some sloppy afterglow kisses. Again, we wasted no time and sat up on the bed and began to dress. We didn't want Vancha and Harkat to catch us like that; stripped naked and in bed with each other. It was our _private emotions_, after all.

**

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**The End**


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